Desperate
by Wolf Jade
Summary: If there were one thing you could change about your past, what would it be? One-shot. Sophie.


**Note:** Another quick one-shot. This is not related to the other Gilmore Girls one-shot that I wrote last year.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. I also cannot claim the quote (in italics) but for the life of me, I cannot remember which fic I read it in.

**Desperate  
**_Ignorance killed the cat, curiosity just got framed…_

If there were one thing you could change about your past, what would it be?

Oh, the possibilities were endless. She could write a novel with all the things she would change about her past. Some of the major things would be:

Letting Tristan leave without telling him her true feelings was definitely one of the worst….

Sleeping with Dean. What the hell had she been thinking? He was married for Christ's sake. She was a home wrecker. Actually, now that she looked back on the situation, it was utterly hilarious. How could she possibly think it would work out with him? Their relationship had not worked the two times before that.

Actually, if she had told Tristan her feelings or if she had stayed with Dean, she would never have dated Logan. Ah Logan, something she would definitely change about their relationship was letting him leave…those four times. The first time was after what she had dubbed 'The Jess Affair'. Logan had totally misunderstood that whole situation. The second time was after the Bridesmaids and she had let him go on that stupid Life & Death Brigade stunt…she had almost lost him. Those were the worst days in her life. Letting him go to London without begging him to stay was totally another mistake. Then the engagement…or rather the proposal and her reaction. She was lost without him. Now that was something she would change if given the chance.

Only one thing did not seem like much of a mistake to her and that was dating Jess. Sure, in the end that relationship ended both badly and awkwardly. She should have seen it coming and when looking back on it, she ultimately realized that she had seen it coming and had chosen to ignore it.

There were moments when she really wanted to fly to California and explain to Logan exactly why she had said no to him. However, he was already engaged to someone else—some rich society brat who from what she had heard had a very low IQ. Hence why she was putting all of her feelings down on paper, in a very public article.

--

THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE: Letting the love of my life go.

By: Rory Gilmore

Three years ago, the love of my life, which shall be called Mac, proposed to me. That was when I made the worst mistake. I told him I could not marry him because if I did all the doors that were open to me would close. Why did I say that? Well, his family is incredibly influential. Hartford Society and a very big name in the business world. Already, because of him I had essentially been blacklisted. No one on the East Coast would hire me because Mac's father, who will be called MH, had informed everyone that I was to be working for him and only him. Well, as you can imagine I was never offered a position at any of MH's companies.

When Mac proposed to me, he had this speech proclaiming his love for me and how he wanted me to go with him to California to this beautiful house he already had picked out; it had an Avocado tree in the back yard. That was when I felt everything pushing down on me. I could not find a job and here was my boyfriend proposing to me. I had no idea what I was going to do. I wanted to marry him but because of everything going on with his own problems and me, I could not accept.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried to let him know that it was not because I did not love him or that I did not want to be with him, he broke off all ties with me. I was, am, still in love with him. No amount of wallowing has been able to change that. Nevertheless, Mac just never understood my side and the reason for why I said no. He believed I was rejecting him because I did not love him. I love him. I never stopped loving him. He was the one who ended our relationship. I was just the person who told him I could not get married him to him or engaged to him just yet. I needed time to establish myself on the East Coast, a place I knew. My comfort zone. Once I was comfortable with my job and myself, then I would consider moving to California to be with him.

Mac was the one who would not even consider a long distance relationship. We had done it before and it worked between us, so why would it not work this time? It is not as if it would have been forever, just for a few months, maybe a year. He would not even consider it. I know I am just as at fault as he is and I am not trying to make excuses. I just wish he had listened to my side of things instead of being the one to throw it all away.

If there is one thing anyone can learn from this, it is to be true to yourself and to your relationships. Do not let someone go if you love him or her.

--

His eyes widened in disbelieve as he looked down at the newspaper one of his best friends had just thrown at him. A hand landed on his shoulder and when he looked up the man began to speak.

"Read it, maybe then you will understand how much of a bastard you were being."

The Aussie was usually outgoing and never one to let anything bother him. The seriousness in those words was something he had never expected to hear coming from him. However, one look at the barely concealed anger in the man's motions and he knew there was no way to get out of any of it.

"We'll leave you alone," Colin murmured.

Once the door closed behind the two of them, he looked down at the front-page article and began the daunting task. Once he finished there was barely a thought running through his head. His eyes strayed to the picture on his desk of his fiancé and he could hardly stop the curses that spewed from his mouth. There was never a moment when he had been more stupid.

There were definitely things he would change about his past, especially his most recent past. Two things in particular.

The first was definitely getting engaged to the woman his mother had pushed him towards. He did not love her and the only reason he was marrying her was because he was expected to settle down. The worst mistake he had made was letting his emotions control him. If he had not allowed them to take over, he would still be with his ace. The one person who made him complete. The paperweight on his desk was seized and without a seconds thought he flung it at the closed door. Once it crashed into the wood and shattered, he stood up. He had to fix this somehow. As he left his office and walked towards the elevator, he was aware of his two best friends falling into step behind him.

--

Her eyes drifted open slowly. A groan crossed her lips and she looked over at the clock. Four am. What the hell had woke her up? She sat up slowly and rubbed the back of her left hand across her forehead. After a moment it registered that was someone was knocking on her apartment door. She slung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up slowly. Within moments, she was across the wide-open space of her studio apartment and had her hand on the doorknob.

"Can I help you?" she asked as she yanked the door open an inch or two until the chain caught.

"Ace."

Her heart leapt into her throat and she took an involuntary step backwards. If she had not been awake moments before she definitely was now. Blue eyes looked him over, even though she made no move to let him. His blond hair was in that normal messy style and his brown eyes were alert yet held something she had not seen before.

"Logan."

"Can I come in?"

She hesitated, "That depends on why you're here."

"I read the article." He held up his copy of the newspaper. "Can we talk?"

"Its four o'clock in the morning."

"I know. If I do not say this now I do not think I could-"

Before she even understood what she was doing she had the door closed and was yanking off the chain. When she reopened the door and allowed him in she wondered what she was getting herself into.

"Coffee?" She asked and went into her small kitchenette.

"Rory-"

She held up a hand, "I feel like I'm going to need a lot of coffee for this so please, just let me have some formality."

"Alright. Then some coffee would be great."

Once they were settled in the chairs around her dining room table, she finally let him speak.

"I broke it off." At her blank look he elaborated, "My engagement."

"Okay, what does that have to do with me?"

"I'm still in love with you and I know that how I reacted when you rejected me-"

She scowled, "I didn't reject you. I only rejected the engagement. There's a big difference between the two."

"I know that and I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure it out. I cannot live without you. I've tried and I've failed."

Her blue eyes softened considerably. "Logan. We are both not who we used to be. Things are different. We can't go back to what we had."

"We don't have too. Let us start something new. In Omnia Paratus…remember. Those memories will still be there but we'll start something new. Something different."

"You know, I just realized something."

"What?" He seemed so hopeful.

"The third time is definitely the charm." She slid forward on the chair and looked at him intently, "We have a lot of things to work out. They'll take time but maybe if we work them out we'll be alright together."

"Really?" He grabbed her hands and clung on to them.

He would not let her go. There was no way he would be able to survive if she left him again or if he left her. They had to make this work.

"This is our last chance," she whispered and he understood.

--

I'm not happy with this. It feels choppy and like it does not have enough emotion in it. I think I ended it up way to fast. However, it was a spur of the moment one-shot. As in, I wrote it in a half hour. That's probably the major reason why I do not like it. Anyway, give it critique. No flames. This is it for now. Maybe I will be in the mood to work on an actual story in the future. But don't count on it. This was my attempt to get over the mess the producers made of the last two episodes.

June 18: There will be edits on the story in the future; no set date, as I want to work on it slowly and make it even better...hopefully.


End file.
